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On Wednesday, May 17th, Austinite Brandon Vezmar became a new Internet sensation. Film Twitter errupted into rapturous applause; they had finally found the hero they had been waiting for.

In this post, I provide an overview of these signs and behaviours so that you can get a reading on your current relationship (or ‘non-relationship) situation.Approximately 15 minutes into the movie, Vezmar’s date “activated her phone at least 10-20 times in 15 minutes to read and send text messages,” according to the complaint. Taking her car with her, his date decided to bail and leave him behind.Incensed, Vezmar insisted that either she stop or leave the theater. His date, for her part, insists in a statement to the Statesman that “I had my phone low and I wasn’t bothering anybody.I was eleven and still looked like a boy: hair that my mom cut too short, legs that I hadn’t started to shave.I wore the same outfit almost every day: jeans with embossed flowers and a green sweater. She listened to the Dead Kennedys and the Dayglo Abortions.