While I spoke briefly about this in a sermon titled, “Sex, Soul Ties, and Pornography,” I wanted to give some clearer guidelines and tips for healthy physical boundaries in a dating relationship.
When I first dated in high school I didn’t really have any clear boundaries aside from wanting to wait until marriage for sex and also sensing that there shouldn’t be inappropriate touching.
A few of you posted comments asking why we couldn’t just stop the physical side of our relationship instead of having to break up.
” where I shared that my heart got shattered when I broke things off with a guy I had been dating married-style.
Exclusivity and intentionality are ancient rituals, things of the past, and misplaced hopes. It’s not that this new line of thinking is necessarily untrue today, or that it’s not the current and corrupt trend of our culture. One of our most precious pursuits, that of a lifelong partner for all of life, is tragically being relegated to tweets, texts, and snaps, to ambiguous flirtation and fooling around. Therefore, only he can prescribe the purpose, parameters, and means of our marriages.
So, as singles we have to work harder in our not-yet-married relationships to preserve what marriage ought to picture and provide.
That rule, trying to grow facial hair, and being prematurely overconfident about my ability to actually convince girls to come to my room are the only things I remember about my freshman year of college. “We were just trying be faithful to our boundaries” isn’t going to ease the awkwardness.
I got a “Values Violation” for having my door propped open only 4.5 inches while studying with a female Spanish tutor that I wasn’t the least bit attracted to.
When we broke up after just dating for six weeks I recognized it was God’s grace that things didn’t work out for us, because if our relationship had kept together much longer I would have lost my will power to hold back and would have crossed my boundaries…
and I knew once one line was crossed that I wouldn’t be able to stop.